Everyone feels lonely sometimes. One researcher in a recent Wall Street Journal article defines loneliness this way: “Loneliness is the feeling of social isolation or dissatisfaction with your relationships.” Isolation is the feeling of being apart or separate from other people, and you can feel social isolation even when you’re in the middle of a crowd (large group) of people.

In a 2010 meta-analysis (detailed study of published research) of 148 studies (research papers or books) that included more than 300,000 participants, researchers found that feeling lonely is a very strong predictor (factor that can tell what will happen in the future) of mortality (death). In fact, people who are lonely are just as likely to die an early death as people who are alcoholics (addicted to drinking alcohol) or who smoke 15 cigarettes a day. Being lonely is worse for your health than even obesity (being very fat or overweight).

Unfortunately, people in the U.S. are reporting (saying) that they are lonelier than they have been in the past 20 or 30 years. One reason for this doubling (twice as much) of reported loneliness — from 20% in the 1980s to 40% now — may be that more adults are living alone. In 1970, 17% of Americans reported living alone, while 27% lived alone in 2012. It may also be that people spend more time in front of screens — on their computer, smart phone, or tablet — doing solitary (by yourself) activities than in the past.

Psychologists say that there is nothing wrong with being alone or doing things by yourself. It’s your mindset (way of thinking) that matters (is important). Realizing that others care for us and that we matter helps to reduce the feeling of loneliness. Looking for opportunities to interact (talk or do things) with others also help.

I’m not a psychologist but since we all feel lonely sometimes, I’m prescribing (giving you a medical treatment) for everyone reading this to visit our blog if you’re feeling lonely. Your opinions are always valued, and like any good friend, if we disagree with you, we’ll only tell you’re a bonehead (an informal and slightly funny word for a stupid person) in the most affectionate (with kind and loving feelings) way.

– Lucy

Image Credit: Frederick Leighton – Solitude.jpg from Wikipedia

It started when I received an email from a company from another country – I’ll call them ADRS. ADRS claims (says something is true) to be a domain registration service (a business that helps other businesses). When you operate a web site, you have to register (put on an official list) your domain name – like eslpod.com or successfulenglish.com – and pay a small fee (amount of money) each year to protect it so no one else can use it.

In the email, ADRS told me that a company from their country wanted to register “successfulenglish” to use in that part of the world. And they wanted to know if I had authorized (said it’s okay) them to do so.

I replied with a short email that said “‘Successful English’ is protected by U.S. trademark (a special business name or sign that can’t be used by other businesses) laws. I have not, nor do I intend (plan) to authorize anyone else to use it.”

Later that day I received a second email from ADRS. In it they included a list of “successfulenglish” domain names with different top-level domains (such as .org, .net) and country codes (such as .us (U.S.), .cn (China), .ru (Russia)). They asked me if those names were important to me and suggested that I register all of them with ADRS to protect them and avoid confusion.

Suddenly it struck me (I realized, understood): I was being scammed! Or, to use an older word, I was being conned. The person who wrote me the email is what we call a confidence artist – sometimes called a con artist or con man. He tried to get my confidence (trust) by asking if I had given another company – probably not a real company – permission to use the “successfulenglish” domain name in that part of the world. And he acted like he wanted to help me protect my brand name (the particular business name I use). The truth is, he just wanted my money.

According to Wikipedia, “confidence man” was first used in about 1850 in New York City to describe William Thompson. Thompson was accused (to say someone is guilty of a crime) of chatting (talking casually) with strangers he met until they seemed to be comfortable with him. Then he’d ask them if they trusted him enough to loan him their watches. When they did, he walked off with the watches. He was caught when one of his victims recognized him on the street and alerted (informed) the police.

The last few years there has been an infamous (well-known for something bad) telephone scam here in the U.S., called the “Rachel from Cardholder Services” scam. People would receive robocalls (automatic recorded telephone messages) from a pleasant-sounding woman who identified herself as “Rachel from Cardholder Services.” She would encourage the listener to push “1” on their phone to learn how to get lower interest (the extra money you pay when you borrow money) rates (amount in percent) on their credit cards.

People who responded (did what she suggested) to Rachel’s call were connected with a sales person who tried to get them to pay $500 to $1500 to receive the low rates. Unfortunately, once they got the money, they did nothing. Fortunately, the government stopped the scam last year and fined (made to pay money as punishment) the people involved in it more than ten million dollars.

Have you had experiences like these? Are robocalls a problem where you live?

~ Warren Ediger – ESL coach/tutor and creator of the Successful English web site.

Photo by ivanpw used under Creative Commons license.

If you attended (went to) a public K-12 (kindergarten to grade 12, for children ages six to 18) school in the United States, you probably ate a lot of school lunches. Most medium to large-size schools in the U.S. have cafeterias where students go to eat a hot lunch in the middle of their school day. The cafeteria usually has a lot of long tables and chairs where students eat. Students pick up a lunch tray (large, flat plate with compartments or sections for several different kinds of food) and stand in a cafeteria line where the lunch servers put meat, vegetables, and a drink onto their plates. In some schools, parents pay for the lunches in advance so that students only need to show their lunch cards as payment.

A lot of attention has been given to school lunches in recent years because many say that the food served to students is unhealthy (bad for your body). Typical school lunches include pizza, hamburgers, and chicken fingers (deep-fried pieces of chicken meat).

From the students’ perspective (point of view), school lunches have a reputation of being unappetizing (not looking delicious; not making you want to eat it). The term “mystery meat” is often used to describe what students are served because it is not easily identifiable (able to say what it is) as being beef, chicken, pork, or some other commonly-served meat.

The website DoSomething.org, an organization that is trying to get young people to speak their minds (give their opinions) and to change things around them, recently asked students to post pictures of the school lunches in a project called “Fed Up.” If you’re fed up, you’re tired of something and won’t tolerate it anymore. Other students viewing the lunches can vote to “eat it” or “toss it” (throw it in the garbage). Students posting photos also fill out a survey about their school lunches and preferences, giving the website information about students and their eating habits.

You can see some of these “delicious” meals by visiting the Fed Up project website. Looking at it, I can see that little has changed since my own school days.

Do schools where you live serve hot lunches to students? Is there a general loathing (intense dislike) by students for school lunches as there is in the U.S.? What types of food is commonly served?

– Lucy

Photo Credit: Calhan Colorado High School Cafeteria from Wikipedia

Every year, the same. My great-grandmother always gave me socks for Christmas! And whether I liked them or not, I kept them and wore them, at least occasionally. There was no thought of returning them or exchanging (to give something and receive something different for it) them for something else.

When our oldest son’s wife spent her first Christmas with our family about 15 years ago, she was aghast (shocked) when some family members talked about returning gifts they had received.

How times have changed (It’s very different now)! Many people return gifts for a refund (to get money back) or in exchange for a different item or the same item in a different size or color.

Today, when you buy something as a gift, it’s common for a clerk to ask if you want a gift receipt (a piece of paper that shows that you have paid for something) to make the item easier to return. A gift receipt is similar to a regular receipt but omits (leaves out) certain information, such as the price. It usually has a barcode (a series of lines that a computer can read) that is used to easily identify the transaction (a business action like buying or selling) when the item is returned.

The Internet has made shopping and returning easier than ever year-round (all year), not only at Christmas. An article in The Economist reports that almost 50% of what some stores sell online is returned. The Wall Street Journal says that 33% of all Internet sales are returned and that it’s worse during the holidays. This year they predict (say before it happens) that 33% will return at least one gift they receive for Christmas.

Who returns the most gifts? The Journal says that more women (36%) return gifts than men (31%). And, interestingly, about 45% of the people prefer to return a gift by shipping (to send by mail, truck, plane, etc.) rather than taking it back to a store.

How do you feel about returning gifts? Is it acceptable to you or in your culture?

~ Warren Ediger – English tutor/coach and creator of the Successful English web site.

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia Commons