So Many Ways to Murder, So Little Time

And_Then_There_Were_None_US_First_Edition_Cover_1940One of my favorite things to do in my spare (free; extra) time is to read mysteries, fictional (not true; invented) stories about a crime — usually murder (killing another person) — and finding out who committed it. I started reading mysteries or detective (person solving a crime) novels (book-long stories) when I was a kid, and I’ve continued reading them to this day (to the present time).

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t like blood and guts (violence and lots of blood). I’m not a big fan of modern mysteries where crime scene investigations (CSI; careful examinations of where a crime was committed) find traces (indications; small amounts) of evidence that solve the crime. I prefer old-fashioned murders with very little gore (blood from violence) called “cozies.”

Having read mysteries for many years, I’ve developed my favorite ways to murder. Currently, my favorite method is to garrote someone. To garrote someone means to strangle them (stop them from breathing), usually using a piece of wire or thin rope wound (wrapped) around each hand and then pulled back on someone’s throat (part of the body between the head and the shoulders) so they can’t breath. The reason this is my current favorite method for murder is that it’s difficult for someone to escape (get away from it) if they are taken by surprise.

Here’s why and a tip (piece of advice): If I ever try to garrote you, your natural instinct (what you naturally feel you should do) will be to reach up to your neck to pull the garrote — wire or rope — away from your throat. This is nearly impossible to do because you have little leverage (means of using power) compared to me because of our relative positions (place in relation to the other person). Instead, you should twist (turn) your body to the side to try to dislodge (move from its place) the garrote. That’s very hard to remember when someone is garroting you, but don’t say I never taught you anything useful.

One more tip: Since I am relatively (compared to others) short, for me to garrote you, you will have to be shorter than me, walking ahead of me on a set of stairs, or be seated. So don’t walk ahead of me or sit down in my presence (when I am with you). (Again, you’re welcome.)

Garroting supplanted (replace; took the place of) my previous favorite method of murder: poisoning. Poison refers to any substance that can make you ill or kill you. It’s difficult today to find a poison that is undetectable (not easily noticed) and untraceable (leaving no indication of what it was afterwards). In the old days — and in my old mysteries — it was simple to visit an out-of-the-way (remote; with few people) place where these poisons seemed to be plentiful (with many available), at least in the authors’ imaginations. Those were the good old days.

In fact, with today’s scientific and technological advances (improvements), life is hard on (difficult for) murderers. Crime scene investigators have a lot of tools to use to help them find the perpetrator (criminal; person who commits a crime). Forensic science (using science to investigate crime) can give the police a lot of information from minute (very small, pronounced “my-NOOT”) tissue (material from the bodies of animals or humans), blood, and other types of samples (small amounts of something taken for scientific tests). Lab (laboratory; place where science tests and experiments are performed) tests can determine when, how, and under what circumstances you died. Forensic accountants (investigators of records relating to money earned, spent, and moved) and forensic computer experts can trace a victim’s (person who is hurt or killed) background and past activities, possibly finding out my motive (reason) for killing you.

So, as you see, although I have a passion for murder, it’s hard to indulge in (allow myself the pleasure of) it. By the way, if you are with the Los Angeles Police Department and are reading this, please do not be alarmed (shocked and worried). I have not (yet) committed any murders and I don’t have any immediate (short-term; right now) plans to do so. Rest assured (don’t be worried), I would only ever kill on paper (in writing).

– Lucy

Image Credit: First edition book cover of 1940 US edition of Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None  from Wikipedia

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10 Responses to So Many Ways to Murder, So Little Time

  1. Dan says:

    Hey Hi.

    Jeff, if I were you, I would watch my back more often. And get a gun. Glock or Beretta. Good luck.

  2. Dan says:


    Hey Lucy, I am going to confess you something. This sinister side of a middle aged woman -I guess- is kind of a turn on, it’s kind of sexy in a dark way.
    I like that it’s kind of, you know femdom type situation If I may say so. That’s intriguing.

    Anyway, if you need a helper to hide the body, you know my mail. Body is singular because we all know who that is, right’

    You can replace him with a beautiful cat. A good book with a cat nearby, what can you ask more from life?


  3. peter says:

    I appreciate a good murder mystery story.
    I like the suspense associated with it.
    Nothing like a good mystery plot turns a dull Sunday afternoon into an adrenalin rush ride as the story is unfolding.
    As a matter of fact ,reading a story about a good kill is one of my favourite pastime :))
    I should mention here that I m not against watching people being bashed and bludgeoned in some eerily erksome blood and gore scene either. :))
    I have watched dozens of movies in the genre. I read a handful of detective books as well.
    My favourite character in the category is “Sherlock Holmes and doctor Watson.”
    I read all the sequel to “Sherlock Holmes ” story and watched almost all the movie adoptions of the book series.
    There is one thing that is annoying to me though ,that is -almost in every story out there, it is the detective that is hot on the case all the way to the end. Eventually, in the end ,he gets to solve the crime ,and put the Killer behind the bars. It almost never happens to see the murdere gets away with the crime.
    Unlike most people who root for the good guy to prevail, I sometimes like the alleged murder gives the detective a slip.
    I wanna see the trail gets cold sometimes as in cold cases in real life.

  4. peter says:

    Hi Dan :
    Refer to your comment on the last post, you are too kind. Thank for the vote of confidence.
    I enjoyed reading your piece too. U know ,you are very resourceful

    Thanks again for the care and support

    Sincerely yours ,


  5. Dan says:

    Hey Hi everyone.

    I was thinking that since Lucy is so passionate about that genre and has been reading mysteries since so long she must have thought about writing one herself.

    I have heard several interviews to writers all around the globe, and it seems that that kind of books sell pretty well.

    Every single place nowadays has its detective with his/her own characteristics and traits.

    I bet there are several in the LA area as well.

    I used to enjoy video games, the ones called open world because you are free to go around and do different activities. Games like the GTA series.
    You can go around and kill people and destroy anything as you wish and that is fun.
    Now that I remember, there was also a game by the same developers that was about solving crimes. It’s called L.A. Noire.

    It’s been a while since I last played because I gifted my 360 to a guy at my workplace and I was thinking of buying a new one. But, I do not know.

    Right now I am in kind of lazy/vegetative state and I do not feel doing nothing. Just watching videos on YuTbe.


  6. Aecio Flavio Perim says:

    Hello friends. One more time we are here for some English learning. Yes, I always learn something new here with you all. Thanks.

  7. Dan says:

    Hey Hi

    I wanted to see a tickertape . EC298 & ESLPOD 680

    And so I am looking at it live from NYC for the women’s soccer team that won the world cup.


  8. emiliano says:

    I don´t know if you have seen the movie “Dial M for Murder” is a 1954 an american crime thriller directed by Alfred Hitchcock, this story it is perfect
    to remember when I was reading your post dear Lucy.
    Grace Kelly is going to be strangle Margot with his scarf, by a man sent by her husband to kill her, but she stabs him with a pair of scissors that were just on
    the table close to her, she takes them instead of trying to liberate her from the scarf and stabs the scissors inside the back of the man.

    But the movie follows taken a very bad turn for the poor Grace Kelly been accused of killing the man……….

    It is good story about crime and treachery.

    Thank you Lucy, I know you can´t kill a single fly but reading your post it gives me some shiver.


  9. emiliano says:

    Sorry, Grace Kelly is Margot, and she is going to be killed by the hired killer.

    I have made a mistake trying to explain the plot and as usually I don´t read
    what I have written till it is on the blog. Sorry again. emi

  10. Dan says:


    Wow, just wow. I am having so much fun listening to the candidates’speeches.

    One of my favorite characters is Trump. He makes me laugh all the times. I like everything his style, the hair the accent crazy things he says.

    Please vote for him! I wanna see this guy in charge for the next years.

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