The Worst Valentine’s Day Song Ever

Last Saturday, February 14th, was Valentine’s Day, the holiday that celebrates love. If you celebrated it, I hope you had a romantic (inspiring love and warm feelings) time with your sweetheart (the person you love romantically). We talked about this popular holiday on one of our regular podcasts (ESL Podcast 659) and in one of our English Cafes (English Cafe 13).

Now that the holiday is over, I can introduce you to the worst Valentine’s Day song ever composed (written (music)). It’s called “My Funny Valentine” and it was most famously recorded by the great Frank Sinatra. The song actually debuted (was performed for the first time) in 1937 in a musical (play with songs) called Babe in Arms. But since then, many famous singers have covered it (sung their own version), and it is considered a standard (classic song known and sung by many people).

You’ve probably heard this song in one form or another, but have you ever listened to the lyrics (words in a song)? I hadn’t until last week. And now I consider (judge) this to be the worst song you could ever sing to your valentine on Valentine’s Day.  I’ll explain the lyrics below and you can tell me if you agree.

“My Funny Valentine”
by Frank Sinatra

My funny (making one laugh or strange) valentine (loved one)
Sweet comic (funny; making one laugh) valentine
You make me smile with my heart.

Your looks (appearance) are laughable (so ridiculous that they makes others laugh)
Unphotographable (cannot be photographed because of its ugliness)
Yet (Despite this; Even so) you’re my favorite work of art (artwork, such as a painting or statue).

Is your figure (curves of a person’s body, usually a woman’s) less than Greek (as in a Greek statue, often showing an ideal human form)?
Is your mouth a little weak (small and not strong looking)?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart? (This is a rhetorical question, one that doesn’t need to be answered because we all know the answer. In this case, it’s no.)

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine’s Day

Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is Valentine’s Day

There you have it (That was what I wanted to show you). The singer tells his sweetheart she is ugly, she has a bad figure, and she is stupid. Yes, the larger message is that despite all of your flaws (faults; things that make you not perfect), my valentine, I love you and I don’t want you to change. That’s a lovely sentiment (emotional message) and certainly something I would want to hear from my sweetheart. But after being insulted (treated disrespectfully), do you think your sweetheart would hear the real message of the song? I’m not sure. Maybe it would only work for someone as suave (charming (man)) as Frank Sinatra.

Now that Valentine’s Day is over and the pressure is off (there is no stress to do something good or nice), please try this song on your sweetheart and let me know if you get a slap (hit with an open hand, usually on the face) or a kiss.

– Lucy
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13 Responses to The Worst Valentine’s Day Song Ever

  1. Fernando Lima says:

    Ops…. I got a slap. lol 🙂

  2. Marcos says:

    Hi everyone

    You Know, lots of people don’t speak English in my country but them love music English, so many of them had made a mistake like that when gave a song for your love one. I’m sure I did that when young but doesn’t matter my girlfriend didn’t understand English too.

    Nice day to us


  3. Dan says:

    Hi Lucy,

    I agree that the song’s lyrics is not the best, but it must be said that Sinatra’s voice and singing stile was unique and beautiful.
    About that thank you for the post, it’s been a while since I last heard Sinatra’s voice.It was a nice surprise hearing him so unexpectedly.

    For the rest it’s hard saying something. I need the help of one of the most famous Italians and one of the best incipit/opening of a book ever written by anyone. Dante’s Inferno:

    “In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself within a dark woods where the straight way was lost”

    Ok, now, my way is not really lost, but that would describe pretty well my situation in matter of relationship/horizontal refreshment.

    I have been single now, for five years this August and I enjoy my freedom. I must admit that sometimes it’s hard, but I know that it’s also hard being in a relationship/married.
    I cannot decide whether to go out and find a partner or not. Some days I am attracted to women other days I am repelled depending on how I see/think about them.

    I am kind of confused there. That’s why i kind of find myself lost in a dark wood. In that sense.

    It must be said that at the time of Dante there was not Italy yet. For those who do not know that, he was one of the fathers of the Italian language.


  4. Francisco says:

    I think he tried to say:

    Look! You’re all those things, comic, ugly, not smart, Unphotographable, etc (is it enough?) AND… Yes… AND I’M STILL WITH YOU! How can i do this? Obviously you are my Sweetheart!
    So, love me too, nobody will love you, my little witch.

    It is so romantic, isnt it?

    LOL. Sorry my english Lucy, im a beginner.

  5. soraia says:

    Hi everyone,

    My God …how Frank Sinatra became a music worst in a music sonorous, of course
    he has the advantage of his voice, but being himself should to song only wonderful
    I know that many people that dont speak english think this music wonderful, only because Frank
    Sinatra songs, if was a band if rock , hardcore or rap was different.

    Have a nice

  6. emiliano says:

    Well Lucy, I do not completely agree with you in this question and I would try to explain myself now.
    To me the gift of the song is that doesn´t matter the apperance of the one you sincerely love being
    the most important subject just the personality of the one you are loving.
    She or He could be the most increidble beautiful person you have ever seen but despite it you, or other, don´t
    fall in love with him or her, why? Just a mystery.
    It is usual to say, I don´t change my boy or my girl for any other, not Brad Pitt or Angelina Joly
    despite they are so incredible beautiful persons.

    Frequently I have seen ugly girls or boys without any apparently charm (for me) being the couple of charm
    beautiful persons and the question it is always, what have seen this charm people in them?.
    No body knows, but despite they are not beautiful or Smart, these other beautiful couples are really
    in love with them, usually for ever and ever, and don´t want to chane anyting of their not so clever
    or charm couples.

    I agree with you that it is not fair to sing this way to your or my ugly couple despite i love him or her
    so much, but I take the song not in it literal sense, I think it has to be taken other way, for love
    doesn´t meant beauty or inteligency, it is just somethin different that has not explanation.

    For instance, my dear daughter Eva is and has been the most beautiful children, girl and woman that
    you may imagine. She has lot of boy round her that wanted be their couple, some of them Smart
    inteligent, beautiful boys, but she chose a man not so Smart, fat and not really handsome.
    She married him and till the moment they are really happy despite she continuous being beauty,
    desireble, and looks very Young and by the contrary he is fatter and doesn´t look so Young
    or Smart.

    Why she prefered him being so different?
    Love has not any racional explanation for the other outside the souls of the loving one.

    Thank you so much dear Lucy, I know you don´t like the lyric but not one could sing this song to
    you being so smart, beautiful, nice, inteligent, adorable girl as you are.
    I know this perfectly well and sure every one next to you thinks the same I am thinking know.

    It is just the true, I have reasons as you know pefectly well my dear Lucy incredible fairy girl.


  7. peter says:

    Hi lucy,
    Perfect timing for a Valetine post!:))
    All the heat has already cooled off and people got back to the humdrum of day-to-day life.:))
    Yet , it is not bad the post reminds us of a happy occasion in life. Well,for most of us as I flew solo that day.
    U know ,I know the song because I used to listed to the original version of it by Frank Sinatra like a lot as the girl in the song is the girl version of ,I can completely relate to the song!
    You know , I was a classic text book definition of a regular boy ,growing up. Well but not anymore 🙂
    Now ,I m this guy that girls love to hate :)))
    I m freakishly tall and u can track some muffin top in me. You know just a few extra pounds , not a big deal :))
    I never listened to the remakes of the songs. I even didn’t know other singers have covered it. U know I have always had a soft spot for the original one. It is a classic!!!
    It may not be the best work of Frank Sinatra but definitely it is one of the most famous one!
    Everybody I know associates the song only with frank Sinatra.
    It is one of my all-time, favourite song.
    It is cool that one of my all time favourite songs has found its way to my all time favourite ESL Hub 🙂
    Thanks lucy for the culture post!
    I like it when you guys bring a bit of culture to the one and only blog of us.
    But ,next time try to be on time sis :))))
    Just joking

    Pete a generous proportionate friend from the icy land of Canada 🙂

  8. Eulalia Stucchi says:

    music is poetry and as such we have to understand the meaning behind the words,it can not be taken literally, but as a student of another language can be interesting.

  9. Mike says:

    As romantic as this actually is, I’m not sure that this would be so well received by my significant other!

  10. emiliano says:

    AT NIGHT just thinking…..

    When we are alone, no TV, no computer, no radio, alone with ourselves, do we think ?.

    Do we really think on our way of living?

    We reflect on the life we live, what we do, what we would do with that life that we will, one day less to live, a night
    that does not return, and so one more day after another.
    What we can do to improve it? to be more happy? To give happines to our relatives, Friends or family?

    Do we face our reality or just turn off the TV after living lives and stories of others, and immerse ourselves in bed
    thinking about the day of tomorrow, that’s over the weekend, and it will be Monday morning?.
    Or pissed we are with this, with that, because we do not work or we explode for other questions that diturb our
    way of doing our will?

    Point, nothing more, and so until when?, until the end?, I wonder.

    What did I do to improve my life as a person ?, could we ask ourselves.

    And not about making more money, or work less, not to have or not have it, whether or
    not to go on vacation, if you lose or not lose work, whether I like this or that, if my children
    do not give me respite, what miserable or unhappy that I am, if no one understands me and so
    a string of complaints or regrets.

    No, that is not the question about ourselves.

    The real subject could be:
    What have I done or what I am doing with my life?

    Do you understand yourself? Really, I do understand me, my life, do you understand or know
    how is going your life my friend?

    Honestly most of the time I do not understand mine. I do not understand my spending plan, or
    what I do to be more or less happy, I do not understand what I’m doing with my life, so how I could understand those
    around me if I just do not find my balance.

    That could be a reflection, or just the opposite, I do what makes me happy?, so I improve or not?, depriving
    these vagaries?, talking more with my partner or my children?.

    I sharing, understanding, being humble, from this moment, make peace with this or that.

    Just the same i try to exercise our body it could be interesting or necesary to exercise our mind, our souls, just
    thinking alone, at night could be a good hour, what are we doing to be better and more happy.
    If we are happy it is sure that we coud give happines to our loving one, our couple, our sons, or our Friends.

    That is the question that I, we, should meditate from time to time.
    Just when we are alone, in silence, without anything but entertain in the evening when the day is over.

    Today would do, right now why I write and I wonder if I do agree with my life.

    Do I like it?
    Can I change it?
    Can not I and continue as before?
    Am I good with my partner?
    Would you like to be alone?
    Accompanied by another person?
    What about my work?
    what about my body?

    Is there anyone that aske themselve these questions at least once
    a month?
    I would like, I try to do but some time it is necessary to be brave if our life it is not so good.

    I’m not in the mind of you but sometimes I doubt that we consider our lives honestly, without
    fear of facing ourselves.

    Goodnight and better dreams.


  11. fernando says:

    If I knew this song before, I would sing it for my ex-girlfriend so we could split up sooner.
    Just kidding…….kind of

  12. Marcos says:

    Hi everyone
    ( 1079 )
    I not sure if I understand what ” they are sitting in the hall” mean? If I understand is something about location on postmark, so we have date and location on the postmark!
    “Did you notice the postmark?
    No, but they’re … ( ? )”

    Nice day to us and happy weekend


  13. Dan says:

    Hi folks

    I do not know whether it’s a god or a bad thing, but at the moment I am not in love. At least with a representative of the human female.

    At the moment I am in a relationship made out of 70% love 30%antipathy with a trio representing the feline species. Two males and one female.

    Love because I love watching what they do, and it’s always fun, and hate ’cause sometimes they drive me crazy. Especially the female.

    Apparently the female of the cats has something to share with the human one.


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