California dreamin’

In the song, the song writer, who is suffering from (having a bad experience as the result of) a cold winter day, is dreaming about moving to Los Angeles:

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey.
I’ve been for a walk
On a winter’s day.
I’d be safe and warm
If I was in L.A. (Los Angeles)

According to an article – America’s Most Popular States: The Reality of Living the Dream – at The Book of Odds web site – California has flooding, earthquakes, and wildfires. It’s short on cash (the state doesn’t have much money) and drinking water, but it’s still the state that most people want to live in. People prefer (like one thing better than another) California to Florida, Hawaii, Texas, and Colorado – the other states in the top 5.

What about the California dream? Is California a good place to live? How does it compare to other states? Here are some of the things I found in the article (some of the numbers have changed since the article was written):

• 12% of Americans already live in California (the population is more than 36-million!)
• 11.5% of Californians older than 16 are unemployed (don’t have a job). It’s better in Texas, where only 7.5% are unemployed. The national average is 6% (Since the recent economic problems, these numbers are much higher.).
• The odds (see explanation below) of being a victim of violent crime in California are 1 in 198.5. California is safer, or less dangerous, than Florida and Texas.
• Fewer people in Texas – only 75% – have a healthcare plan (health insurance). In addition, about 37% of the people in Texas are overweight (weigh too much). That doesn’t sound healthy.
• Hawaii and Colorado have the highest number of insured residents (people with insurance) and the lowest number of violent crimes in the top 5 states.
• Hawaii has almost as many earthquakes as California.
• If you live in Colorado, there is a 1 in 10 chance that you will experience a wildfire each year. In California the odds are 1 in 3.33. I know about that; one of the recent wildfires was only a few miles from where I live.

The article asks an important question – “What do these numbers tell us about what life is really like in America’s most wanted states?” – and answers it – “Not much.” To really know what life is like somewhere, you have to know and think about more than these numbers. They are only part of the story. But they are interesting.

I’m curious: if you moved to the U.S., where would you like to live? Why?

Explanation: When we say “the odds are…” we are talking about the probability or chances of something happening. Here’s a simple example: when a woman has a baby, the odds are 1 in 2 that the baby will be a boy (or girl). Another example: if a horse is expected to win 25% – ¼ – of its races, the odds of its winning are 1 in 4. When the second number is smaller, there is a greater probability, or chance, of the thing happening. Oh my, I see that there’s a 1 in 1.4 (70%) chance of rain tomorrow. I need to make sure I carry my umbrella!

~Warren Ediger – ESL teacher/tutor, perpetual (permanent) learner, writer, musician, husband & father, creator of www.successfuenglish.com.

photo by W. Ediger

QUESTION:
Ryan in China wants to know when it is acceptable to call people by their first names and by their last names.

ANSWER:
Americans tend to allow (and prefer) others to call them by their first names in many or most situations.  With friends and family, nearly everyone calls each other by their first names, unless they are your mother (Mom, Mommy, Mother, etc.), father (Dad, Daddy, Pop, etc.), or other older relations (for example, “Grandma” or “Uncle”). We normally call our siblings (brothers and sisters), cousins, nieces and nephews (children of our siblings) by their first names.

Friends almost always call each other by their first names, or by a nickname (a funny or familiar name).  However, men who are friends sometimes call each other by the last name.  Women don’t usually call each other by their last names, and men speaking to women and women speaking to men don’t call each other by their last names either.  I might say to Jeff, “Hey, McQuillan, are you buying me lunch today?,” but usually this is done in a joking way, with me trying to sound more commanding (in charge) or masculine (like a man).  You may hear both men and women called by their last names at work, however, where the environment is male-dominated or has been traditionally dominated by men, even if it’s less so now, such as in newsrooms (where newspapers and news magazines are written and produced) and factories (where products are made by hand or by machines).

Generally, in a work situation, people who are colleagues (working together, usually at the same level of responsibility) tend to call each other by their first names, not “Mr. McQuillan” or “Ms. Johnson.”  We even call our bosses by their first names most of the time.

One exception is if we are talking about someone in a higher position to someone outside of the company or organization.  For instance, a secretary or administrative assistant may call his/her boss by his first name face-to-face, but call him “Mr. Gomez” to outsiders:  “If you’d like to meet with Mr. Gomez, he’s free between 3:00 and 5:00 tomorrow afternoon.”  Often when we meet a boss or someone in a higher position in our own company/organization or another company/organization for the first time, it’s safer to use “Mr.” or “Ms.” until that person tells us to call him/her by their first name.  This type of conversation is very common:

You:  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Kim.”
Boss:  “Call me Ann.”

If you are a student, you almost never call your teacher or professor by his/her first name.  In elementary school, junior high school, or high school, you would call your teachers “Mr.” or “Ms.”/”Mrs.” (unless they have a Ph.D. degree, then see below) and their last name.  My third-grade teacher was Mrs. Frame and my high school Spanish teacher was Mr. Lopez.  We don’t call them “Teacher,” “Master,” or any other terms used in other countries.  If you are in college or at the university, you would use the titles “Dr.” (doctor) or “Professor.”  (Sometimes graduate students getting advanced degrees are invited by their professors to call them by their first names.) When Jeff was teaching at the university, Jeff’s students called him “Dr. McQuillan” or “Professor McQuillan.”

That’s probably more than you wanted to know, Ryan, but I hope that helps.

~ Lucy

“Obama Calls for ‘Up or Down Vote’ on Health Care Bill”

President Obama announced yesterday that he wants the U.S. Congress (our national legislature, consisting of Senators and Representatives) to have an “up or down vote” on health care.  To vote means to say yes or no about some issue in an election or group decision.  A bill is a proposal for a law that needs to be approved by the two houses or parts of Congress, the Senate (100 people) and the House of Representatives (435 people), and then signed by the president to become a law.  For most things, a simple majority (50% + 1) is enough to pass or approve a bill.  But in the U.S. Senate, there is a way to prevent a vote on any bill by, basically, refusing to stop talking.  This procedure, known as a filibuster, can only be stopped by a super-majority (more than 50% + 1) of 60%.

President Obama is asking the Congress (specifically, the Senate) to avoid any filibusters and simply vote on the proposed bill for health care (taking care of people who are sick).   This is what he means by an up and down vote – no filibusters, just a simple majority vote of yes (“up”) or no (“down”).  While the president’s political party, the Democrats, has a simple majority in both houses of Congress, it does not have a super-majority in the Senate, so it cannot stop the opposing party, the Republicans, from filibustering.  Hence (therefore), the president is asking Republicans to stop preventing a vote on the bill.  If he can do that, the bill has a much better chance of passing.

Unfortunately for the president, the majority of Americans are not in favor of the current health care bill, and many of the Democrats in his own party are afraid to vote for a bill that has become so unpopular, largely due to (because of) the high cost of it.  We’ll have to see if the Senate Republicans take the president’s suggestion to, well, shut up and let the vote proceed (take place, happen).  Even if they do, it is still possible that the bill will fail to pass with a simple majority.

~Jeff

P.S. Feel free to comment on whether you think this sort of blog post – about headlines – is useful.

But what if you were stranded on a desert island and given the chance to have one companion, someone to keep you company (give you friendship or companionship)?  This person cannot be a relative or even someone you know personally, such as your spouse (husband/wife), boyfriend/girlfriend, or best friend.  It must be a historical figure (someone famous from the past) or a character from books, movies, or TV shows.

Of course, those of you who are practical-minded (thinking of and doing the most useful things) may immediately think of someone like MacGyver, or someone else who is extremely resourceful (able to do a lot with only a little), to help you on the island. This person would certainly be helpful as a companion, so let’s assume he’s already on the island with you.

The question is:  If you were picking someone else to be on your desert island, who would you pick?

You might be interested to know that when I asked Jeff this question, first he said he might pick someone like Socrates or Albert Einstein.  And then, he thought for a minute and asked me, “Is my wife dead?” so we know where his mind was going…and of course, we don’t blame him (say that he did something wrong)!

I’m still trying to decide. I think I would pick someone who is a great storyteller to help me pass the time.

Who would you pick and why?

~ Lucy

What words come to mind (what words do you think of) when someone talks about a “parking garage” or “parking structure (building)”?

I asked a few other people the same question. They said ugly. Necessary. Convenient (useful because it saves time). Scary. Dirty. Dangerous. When I looked at some articles online, I found a few more adjectives, such as utilitarian (practical but not attractive), austere (without decoration), and forlorn (empty and sad; often in bad condition). It doesn’t sound like parking structures have a very good reputation (how people think about them)!

All of that may change soon in Miami, Florida. There is an urban renewal (improving a city by building new buildings, bringing in more businesses, and more) project, called Lincoln 11 11, that may change how people think about parking structures.

A property developer is a person or company that makes money by buying land and building something on it to sell or lease (rent). A property developer in Miami has almost finished building a parking structure that includes condominiums (apartments that people own), high-end (expensive, exclusive) stores, a place near the top for people to gather with their friends to enjoy the view of the Atlantic Ocean and the beaches and – I almost forgot! – a place to park cars.

This new structure is very modern (not traditional). It was designed by the same company – from Switzerland – that designed the new Tate Modern Museum in London and the Bird’s Nest Stadium for the Olympics in Beijing. A bank building used to sit (be in the location) where the parking structure is being built. Unfortunately, the bank building became damaged by rioters (large group of people causing trouble or violence) and neglect (no one took care of it).

If you’d like to see the structure, go to the developer’s web site. When you get to the site, you’ll have to click on the middle of the screen to continue. To see pictures of each part of the structure, click on the words Vision, Architecture, Retail, and Residential. There are also some good pictures here.

The area – along Lincoln Road – where the structure is being built was a popular shopping area many years ago. However, by the 1950s it had faded (slowly disappeared). Happily, in the 1960s the area was revived (brought to life again). Today it’s a popular place for people to visit and shop.

The developer says that his idea – for the parking structure – is to bring people, events, parties, and life into the building, along with cars, of course. Both the designers and developer see the structure as an exciting experiment.

What do you think? Will it succeed (be successful)? Would you like to live there?

~Warren Ediger – ESL teacher/tutor, perpetual (permanent) student, writer, musician, father and husband, and creator of www.successfulenglish.com.

Parking structure photo used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

* In the state of Texas, a new law says that teenagers (people between the ages of 13 and 19) must be accompanied by (be with) an adult if they want to use the facilities at a tanning salon.  Tanning salons are business where people go to have special lights shine on their skin so that it becomes darker, so they’ll have a suntan.

* If you’re driving in the state of Ohio, be sure to turn on your headlights (lights at the front of a car or vehicle that allows you to see the road in the dark) while it is snowing.  If you don’t, you’ll get a ticket.

* The state of Illinois became the 19th state to outlaw (make illegal) texting, sending and receiving electronic messages, while driving.

* If you live in Kentucky and you want to get a payday loan, the new cap (limit) is $500.  A payday loan is a loan you get from a private business that will lend you money until you get your next paycheck.  Unfortunately, most payday loans require very high interest rates, so you would have to pay those high fees, too, when you get your paycheck.  Of course, we don’t recommend getting a payday loan at all, as we talked about in English Cafe 94.

* In California, it is now illegal for restaurants to use oils, margarines, and shortenings (animal fat) that contain more than half a gram of trans fat, a type of unhealthy fat.

* Also in California, it is now against the law to cut off a cow’s tail, unless it is medically necessary, that is, only if a veterinarian (animal doctor) says the cow needs to have it cut off for the good of his or her health.  So those who collect cow tails, beware!

Are there any unusual or surprising laws where you live, past or present?

~ Lucy

P.S.  The photo above is of Lady Justice, a symbol of the judiciary, the system of courts in the U.S.  Any depiction (image; drawing; painting; statue) of Lady Justice always has three things:

• a sword (very long knife used as a weapon) to symbolize the power of the courts
• a set of scales (device use to measure weight by putting weight on both sides until both sides are at the same level) to represent the weight of evidence on both sides of an issue
• a blindfold, cloth over the eyes of Lady Justice, to symbolize impartiality (fairness; the ability to treat everyone the same)

P.P.S.  Thanks to all those who read and comment on our blog posts.  It’s one of the ways we know what you like and what you want to see more of on the blog. That’s why we really appreciate you taking the time to give us your feedback!

According to Dr. Weeks (she teaches at Harvard), a good apology (1) acknowledges the mistake or fault (thing you did wrong), (2) expresses regret (sense of being sorry), and (3) takes responsibility for the mistake – that is, tells the person that you are to blame for it and admits that you were wrong.  It seems straightforward enough (sufficiently easy to understand), but, says Weeks, many people today think that they’re apologizing but really aren’t.

For example, some people say “I want to apologize for…”  Weeks thinks that this is not an apology, because the fact that you want to do something doesn’t mean that you are doing it.  I want to lose weight, but that is different from actually losing weight.

What about people who say, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings” or “I’m sorry if you were offended (hurt) by what I did”?  Again, Weeks says this is a non-apology apology.  You aren’t really apologizing; you’re saying that the other person is being too sensitive (too easily offended) because what you did or said hurt their feelings.  You’re not actually saying what you did was wrong (her Rule #1).

I’m not sure if I agree with Weeks here.  Let’s say that you went to a movie without your friend.  Your friend finds out and gets angry at you.  You don’t think you did anything wrong, but you don’t want to hurt your friend, either.  Should you say, “I’m sorry that I went to the movie” even if you are not honestly sorry?  Is saying nothing in this case better than saying “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings”?  I don’t think so.  I think you can believe that what you did was right but at the same time not want to hurt someone else by it.  I’m not sure how to say this other than “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

Perhaps part of the reason Americans don’t say sorry as much as they used to is for fear of liability – the idea that if you say sorry, you are admitting that you did something wrong and therefore have to pay for your mistake.  Companies and organizations – and especially doctors and hospitals – rarely say they are sorry for fear of being successfully sued (legally required to pay for the damage that one has caused).  Some U.S. states, however, have passed what are called “I’m sorry” laws, which say that even if you (or your company) say “I’m sorry,” it does not mean that you are accepting responsibility for the problem or mistake.  You’re just being nice.

I’m guessing that Dr. Weeks would not be happy with these “I’m sorry” laws, however, since they violate (don’t follow) her Rule #3 about taking responsibility.

So you can see, the situation is not as easy as it looks.  I am reminded of Love Story, which was not only a really bad book, but also a terrible movie in the 1970s,  which had the line, “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry.”   Obviously the man who wrote that had never been married.

~Jeff

QUESTION:
Nice from China wants to know when and how to use the word “dish” when referring to meals and eating.

ANSWER:
The word dish is confusing because it has two different meanings and both are very commonly used.

“Dish” as a Container
First, dish is a general term used to mean the container that is used to hold food.  A dish is usually a shallow (not very deep), flat container that is used for cooking or for serving food.  It can be a plate (used for eating), a platter (large plate used for serving), or sometimes even a shallow bowl (something deep enough to hold liquids).
- “My favorite dish is the one with the blue and white pattern.”
- “I need a bigger dish for the potatoes because this one is too small.”

These are common terms using “dish” in this way:

serving dish – a plate or bowl that is large enough and/or looks nice enough to be placed on the table during a meal

baking dish – a plate, bowl, or container used to bake or cook food, usually in the oven
(Often the food is then taken out of the baking dish and put on a serving dish to make it look nice to be placed on the dinner table.)

to do the dishes/to wash the dishes – to wash or clean the plates, bowls, other containers, cups, and silverware (forks, knives, spoons, and other things) used for cooking and eating

“Dish” as Food
Dish is also used to mean one type of prepared food.  For example, if I invite you to eat dinner at my house, I may cook five dishes to serve you: a vegetable dish, a chicken dish, a fish dish, a pasta dish, and a dessert.  (If I were you, I wouldn’t eat any of it!)
- “His favorite dish is spaghetti and meatballs.”
- “I’m full after eating the first dish.  How can I eat two more?”

These are common terms using “dish” in this way:

main dish – the biggest part of a meal. For example, if you ate fish with rice and vegetables for dinner, fish would be the main dish, and rice and vegetables would be side dishes

side dish – a small portion of food, often a kind of vegetable, served with the “main dish”

Note the word “dish” is also used to describe what kind of food is served: “vegetable dish,” “meat dish,” “cold dish,” “one-dish meal” (meaning a stew or other recipe for food where everything for a meal is mixed together in one serving), “Thai dish,” “French dish,” “vegetarian dish” (contains no meat).

Other Uses of “Dish”
“Dish” can also be used as a verb.  First, related to food, we use the term to dish up or to dish out to mean to serve food or to take some food out of a container with a spoon or fork and put it on a plate or in a bowl for eating.
- “After dinner Petra will dish up/out dessert for everyone.”
- “Use this serving spoon to dish up/out the carrots.”

We can use to dish out in other situations not related to food to mean to hand out or to give out.  For example:
- “Every Monday morning we have a meeting for the boss to dish out that week’s assignments.”
- “I don’t think Manny is sincere.  He dishes out compliments to every woman he meets.”

We also use to dish informally to mean to provide information, often when we talk about gossip.  (We use “dish” as a noun to mean the information or gossip itself.)  For example, if my friend went on a date over the weekend and I want to find out what happened, I may ask:  “When are you going to dish about your date?” or “Give me the dish.  I can’t wait to hear what happened.”

Thanks for the question and I hope this is useful!

~ Lucy

Perhaps next time they’ll have a sport I can participate in…like watching the Olympics on TV.

~Jeff

It’s “Mr.” because that’s what Mr. Ayers mother taught him when he was young, and that’s how he honors (shows respect to) her today, almost 60 years later.

Mr. Ayers is an African-American musician. When he was 19 years old, he left his home in Cleveland, Ohio, to attend the Julliard School, one of the best music schools in the world. He was filled with hopes and dreams for a future filled with music. His main instrument is the bass (the largest string instrument in an orchestra), but he also plays several others, including the violin, cello, trumpet, and flute.

Mr. Lopez is a popular writer for the Los Angeles Times. Twice a week he writes a column (a special story or article) called Points West. Many of his columns are human interest stories – inspiring (encouraging) stories about people. That’s how I met Mr. Ayers.

Mr. Lopez’ story about Mr. Ayers inspires me, but it makes me cry, at least a little. I’m a musician, too, so I can identify with Mr. Ayers in many ways. But in other ways, Mr. Ayers and I are very different. You see, while Mr. Ayers was at Julliard, he had a mental breakdown (became very depressed, anxious). His condition became worse and worse until he ended up (finally arrived) in Los Angeles, a street person living under a freeway bridge. That’s where Mr. Lopez met Mr. Ayers – on the streets of Los Angeles – and became his friend.

I’ve been following the story of Mr. Ayers in Mr. Lopez’ column for five years. It’s one of the happiest stories I’ve read. And, at the same time, one of the saddest. It’s about dreams, and broken dreams, and triumph (success) over broken dreams. It’s musical and, in many ways, magical.

Many people have become acquainted with Mr. Ayers from Mr. Lopez’ columns. And many of them have reached out (given help) to him. Someone found an inexpensive (not expensive) room for him to live in. He has gotten to know members of the Los Angeles Philharmonic (professional orchestra). Some of them give him free music lessons. And others are helping him record a CD.

Today Mr. Ayers still plays his cello on the streets of Los Angeles. His illness seems to be getting better, but it may never be cured (go away completely). He may never accomplish the dreams he had when was 19, but his life is better than it was a few years ago, thanks to his friend, the writer, Mr. Lopez.

If you’d like to learn more about the story of Mr. Ayers and Mr. Lopez, there are several things you can do:

• Watch the 60 Minutes (a well-known and popular weekly TV news program on Sunday evening) story about Mr. Ayers and Mr. Lopez.

Watch CBS Videos Online

• Read Mr. Lopez’ stories about Mr. Ayers in the Los Angeles Times.
• Read Mr. Lopez’ book about his experience with Mr. Ayers. It’s called The Soloist: A Lost Dream, an Unlikely Friendship, and the Redemptive Power of Music.

A final note: Mr. Ayers’ sister, Jennifer, has started a foundation (an organization created for a special purpose) called the Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Foundation. Its purpose is to help musicians and other artists who are mentally ill.

Warren Ediger – student of many things; ESL teacher/tutor; musician; husband and father; and creator of successfulenglish.com.