Deforestation can occur for many reasons.  It may happen because of logging, the cutting down of trees so the wood can be used for building, for fuel (source of energy), and/or to make paper products. Deforestation may also occur when people want to use the land for other things, such as for homes or for pastures (land with green grass and plants) for livestock (animals raised for food or to work).

Environmentalists, people concerned with protecting nature and the environment, have long warned us about the negative effects of deforestation, including soil erosion, or the loss of soil (the layer of dirt where plants grow), and climate and air quality changes.

However, the follow photo shows another important negative effect of deforestation.  As the old saying goes:  “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

~ Lucy

*Thanks to Emiliano for the photo.

I found this woman who works as a community coordinator (organizer) in Canada, but sadly, I’m not Canadian.

I found these woman with Facebook pages, but sadly, I’m not active on Facebook.

Finally, after a lot of searching (looking), I spotted (found) a video of me.  I’ve told people for years that I’ve started to age backwards (starting with the end and going to the beginning), much like Benjamin Button.  Now, maybe they’ll believe me.

Check out my fancy moves (dance steps)!  I bet you didn’t know I was this nimble (able to make quick and graceful movements).  If this whole podcast thing doesn’t work out (become successful), I know I have a backup plan (something else I can do if I fail at the first thing).

~ Lucy

Perhaps next time they’ll have a sport I can participate in…like watching the Olympics on TV.

~Jeff

~ Lucy

…..

“If you can’t say something good about someone, come, sit right here by me.”
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
(She was the oldest child of President Theodore Roosevelt.  This is a takeoff (different version) of the popular saying, “If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.”)

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
(She is a historian at Harvard University.)

“The reward for conformity (doing what is expected of us socially) is that everyone likes you except yourself.”
Rita Mae Brown
(She is an American novelist.)

“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.”
- Dolly Parton on her signature (unique; distinctive) look
(She is a very well known country singer, most popular in the 1970s and 1980s.)

And, finally:

“A facility (ability to do something easily and well) for quotation covers the absence (being without) of original thought.
Lord Peter Wimsey
(He is a character in Dorothy Sayers’ classic mystery novels from 1930s and 1940s.)

Friday’s ESL Podcast 379 is called “A Routine Medical Procedure.” If you need to see the doctor, I hope you don’t see one of these!

~ Lucy

The doctor says, “You’ll live to be 60!”
The patient says, “I am 60!”
The doctor says, “See, what did I tell you (what I told you was right)?”
…
A doctor says to a man, “You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run 10 miles a day.”
Two weeks later, the man called the doctor.
The doctor says, “How is your love life since you have been running?”
“I don’t know, I’m 140 miles away!”
…
The doctor says to the patient, “Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window.”
“What will that do?” asks the patient.
The doctor says, “I’m mad (angry) at my neighbor!”
…
Doctor says to a man, “You’re pregnant (going to have a baby)!”
The man says, “How does a man get pregnant?”
The doctor says, “The usual way – a little wine, a little dinner….”
…
Nurse: “Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to (told was completely healthy) dropped dead right (immediately; at the moment) as he was leaving the office”.
Doctor: “Turn him around. Make it look like he was walking in.”
…
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

* Cartoon: Funny has two meanings. It means something that makes you laugh and something that is strange or feels strange. Ridiculous = silly; absurd

This is actually a novelty (inexpensive toy) sign that you can buy for your business, but if you do, I hope you customers have a good sense of humor!

~ Lucy

What’s the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into (become) pigs after they drink too much.

The key to this joke is that the word “pig” is both an animal and a term we use for a man who behaves very badly or crudely, especially toward women. If a man drinks too much, he can sometimes begin to act badly, especially toward women.

Here’s another one:

What’s the difference between one yard and two yards?
A fence.

Yard can refer to the area outside of your house, usually with grass. Yard is also a unit of measurement equal to 36 inches (or 91.44 centimeters for the rest of the world). When you first read the question, you think that the person is asking about the unit of measurement, but the answer is about the area around your house. A fence separates the yards of neighbors, and so creates two separate yards.

Are jokes funny if they have to be explained? I don’t know. You tell me!

~Jeff

Here are a few mistakes that people have made in the past. An applicant is someone applying for a job and oops is what we say when we’ve made a mistake. See if you can spot (find) the mistake before you read the explanation.

• “I worked for six years as an uninformed security guard.”
[Oops: There is an extra letter "n." It should be "uniformed" meaning wearing a uniform or special clothes for a job, NOT "uniNformed," which means someone who is not knowledgeable.]

• “My last job was as a plumbing and hating specialists.”
[Oops: This time, this person is missing the letter "e." It should be "heating," which refers to a machine or system in a building that makes the temperature warmer, NOT "hating," which is to dislike something very much.]

• “The academic scholarship I earned came with a plague.”
[Oops: This applicant spelled this word with a "g" instead of a "q." A "plague" is a disease that affects a lot of people, and a "plaque" is a flat thing made of wood, metal, or something else that is displayed to remember an event or person.]

• “My career goal is to shave my talents with a growing company.”
[Oops: This applicant used the wrong word. It should be "show" and not "shave," which is what many men do every morning to remove the hair on their faces.]

• “After graduating from college, I worked in a clothing store for seven moths.”
[Oops: I believe this applicant worked at the store for seven "months" and not for seven "moths," which are small, brown flying insects.]

• “My volunteer experience includes delivering hot males to senior citizens.”
[Oops: I think this applicant means "meals" (food) and not "males" (men), though senior citizens (older adults, usually over 65) may also appreciate getting some males, too.]

~ Lucy

“What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.”
– (Richard Harkness, New York Herald Tribune, June 16, 1960)

unwilling = not eager to do something; don’t want to do something
unfit = not qualified; does not have the skills or ability to do something
unnecessary = not needed

~ Lucy

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The pun here is on the words seconds and four/for. Seconds has two meanings: a measure of time (60 seconds in 1 minute), and a second helping or serving of food. For example, if you are eating at home and your spouse asks you if you want “seconds,” s/he means “Do you want another serving of the food you just ate?” Four is a number (4), and for is a preposition. To go back for seconds means to go get more food. To go back four seconds means the clock reverses in time four seconds. So this is a “double pun,” in that we are “punning” on the words seconds and four.

Don’t worry if you don’t think the joke is funny. I liked it, but I really like puns!

~Jeff