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Fat Cats

noun_project_1836_256x256x32When I was growing up, a fat cat was a very rich and powerful businessman who gave money to politicians and tried to influence the political process (and, yes, the term typically referred to a businessman, not a businesswoman). Today, the expression has taken on (been used to indicate) a much more literal meaning.

American cats really are overweight (weight too much). In fact, most American pets (animals that people keep in their houses but that they don’t eat), like most American humans, are fat.

According to the 2012 National Pet Obesity Survey (obesity is the condition of being very overweight), 52.5% of all dogs weigh too much, and 58.3% of cats are similarly chubby (fat).

Dr. Earnie Ward of the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention (APOP) feeds us the bad news: “Pet obesity remains the leading (most important; most common) health threat (danger) to our nation’s pets.” Fat animals can develop the same problems as overweight humans, including diabetes and the inability to say “no” to chocolate cake.

The folks (people) at APOP, perhaps fearing that pet owners and doctors will become as lazy as the animals in question (that we’re talking about), consider this problem to be a very serious one. And I mean very serious. Says one doggie doctor: “This is a war veterinarians (animal doctors), pet owners, and parents much win.”

So how do you avoid having a fat pet?

Consider getting a German shepherd. German shepherds are among the skinniest (opposite of fat) pets on average, with an obesity rate of only 2.1%. Sure, they may kill you or eat your neighbor’s children, but at least you won’t have to worry about people laughing at your fat cat anymore! And if they do still laugh, you can always sic your new dog on them (tell the dog to attack them).

Stay away from (avoid; don’t get) golden retrievers, though. An amazingly large number of them (62%) are overweight. These dogs used to be used for retrieving (bringing back to you; returning to you) ducks and other animals shot (killed with a gun) while hunting. Now I guess they are more like your typical college student, retrieving McDonald hamburgers and cold beer.

I’m not sure what is more depressing (sad) about this news: that American pets are just like their owners in eating too much and not exercising enough, or that there exists something called the National Pet Obesity Survey.

~Jeff

P.S. If you live in Europe, don’t laugh at us fat Americans. Your pets are fat, too!

Image credit: Cat by Lucie Parker, PD

24 Responses to “Fat Cats”

  1. hubert Says:

    Seems like we will have veterinarian plastic surgery as well. Who knows maybe we have it already.

  2. Peter Says:

    Dear Jeff
    Did u have a change of heart or sth?:)))

    You Of all people were the last person i would think might someday choose a cat- related topic to discuss with your students or choice pets for that matter.
    What happened Jeff? Did u have some sort of epiphany? :))))))))
    The answer to all is easy
    Allow me to beak it down for you

    Well ,the truth is , It is not some complex equation to resolve.
    Just put two and two together and the result would be ” obesity alert ” for American nation at large.
    You don’t need to look far for the solution.
    The variables are right in front of you
    Just check the size of American’s food portions. And, then take a look at the most Popular American life style which boils down to two essential components that are TV and meat:)
    So
    U have the equation :
    X + y = obesity
    You have both variables
    X: American affinity to omega -sized food
    Y: a sedentary , TV watching lifestyle.
    Well , replace the variables

    Omega-sized American food portions + coach potato life style = obesity

    See , it was peanut
    U don’t need to be a scientist and spend tons of dollars to figure it out.

    The same apply to their pets with all the left overs :)

    Eslpod rules
    Pete

  3. emiliano Says:

    NO JEFF, GATUFFO IS NOT FAT.

    He only weights 3,5 kg., and could do the same things he did two years before. Just passing below Cuca´s Walker
    once and again when I tell him……do it, and tap on the walker bar.

    In fact I have a video where every one could see Gatufo passing below the walker´s bar and it is really funny.

    Sorry Jeff, but in Gatufo´s name I have to protest.

    By the way the news you are telling us are absolutely funny.

    I do think that if stupid people could fly….we could not see the blue sky, even the sun, so life on Earth could
    be impossible without seeing the Sun.

    Welcome Jeff, and thanks a million.

    emiliano

  4. Renny Says:

    is very important that pet owners keep their pets in cotrol veterinarian to avoid obesity

  5. Dan Says:

    Hello folks.

    Just learned something new! I did not know the term “sic your dog on” Thanks.

    Seriously, as I was reading this on my phone, one of my cats was meaowing at me for food. I am not kidding.

    It weighs 7 kg. what’s that in pounds? 14? I do not know if that is fat, fact is that when I have to pick him up that’s something.

    I like him ’cause it feels like a little Panda and as you touch him, starts purring very loudly. It vibrates like the phone!

    At times his little bully with the others two and myself too. I guess he’s aware of his mass and thinks his in charge.

    He’s also very smart! He’s not allaowed on the bed, but as he thinks I am asleep he makes this special jump you are not aware his there. Unbeliavable!

    My only weapon is my slipper, as I wave it in the air he goes away…..just for returning soon after as he sees me with my eyes shut…and so on..

    In many cases if someone has a sedentary life having a dog makes you move more. You have to take it outside every day. Isn’t that right?

    Thank you all.

    Dan. Italy.

  6. emiliano Says:

    Gatufo always eats his own food, never we give him another thing,…..well, not always
    as emilianog gives him a Little biscuit, just a piece of biscuit, when he is drinking his
    tea.
    But the cat is curious about what emiliano eats when he is on his lap and smells a
    little the biscuits and he has to give Gatufo a lilttle piece only.
    Even the cat sometimes didn´t eat it, the cat is only curious about humans food that
    he didn´t like too much.

    There is a saying that says…….curiosity kills the cat…and Gatufo like other cats is
    really curious about everything. It is so funny to watch him.

    Go ahead Jeff, ask for a gatufo to your family by your next birthday.

    emiliano

  7. Dan Says:

    Me again,

    Fat or not fat I love my cats and They love me back too.

    They make me smile every single day with the crazy or cute things they do.

    I love every animal. Think that when there is a spider I leave it alone. He pays me back getting the mosquitos with his web.

    It is going to get fat as well!

    Thanks, bye!

    Dan, Italy.

  8. Willy Says:

    I have a tabby cat named Kiwy. He’s a bit overweight but not to much. He’s old too. He was born in 2002 (so now he is eleven years old)
    But I love him :).
    He is always with me and often annoys because he gets space over my desktop even over my keyboard or my mouse.
    Sometimes he gets between me and my monitor, as now!! And I have difficult to write or read!
    However I love him, he is my joy.

    I had another cat named Petronio but recently he’s died. He was less annoying (at least with me but not with my brother) but more fat. He was a very big-cat!

    Bye!

  9. Peter Says:

    Dan
    Yep!! It is sick , isn’t it ?

    I didn’t know either
    At first , I though it was a typo or sth
    But , because it was Jeff who wrote the damn thing :) I immediately recant the assumption:)

    It is a cool word to know
    In fact, I started to use it already
    I have this friend who has a dog name “sugar.” I hate the damn dog man. U know , nothing against the poor dog . i mean , if anything , it is me
    I m not much of a pet person

    Anyway , I visited the guy just 30 minutes ago. as usual , one food on his door ,the dog barked at me and I said ” Don’t sic your dog on me. ” Call it off .”
    He laughed and asked where I learned the term. Well , as usual I said from Jeff.
    U know ,among my friend Jeff and Lucy are household names :)))
    The expression ” don’t sic your dog on me ” is sick( totally cool ) ,isn’t it?
    I love it
    I m gonna use it and brag about it like a lot man :))))

    Thanks Jeff , u always give me the upper hand ,bro.

  10. emiliano Says:

    I have seen Dan´s cats and yes, he is write, they are cute cats and nice.
    He is happy with them.

    Me and Cuca too with our dear Gatufo, more or less he does the same
    as Willy says.
    Even when Cuca is reading he jump on her and situated his body
    on the kindle, as to say her…..he, I am here, don´t read any more.

    With me he does the same, jump on my lap and look to the screen.
    At the morning he came with me from the bed, yes he dreams always
    on the bed close to Cuca´s side, may be she moves less than me, and
    jumped on me and he continous dreaming on my legs.
    In Winter he is so worm, he gives love to both of them. Even he
    love now Isabel, the friend that comes home every day to look after
    Cuca, Gatufo and me.

    Thanks Isabel (born in Lima-Peru) you are like an angel fell from
    Heaven.

    to be continue………emiiano

  11. emiliano Says:

    Sorry Dan, (he is right….) .to much work to write, and the computer
    does what it wants.

  12. emiliano Says:

    First voice I listen in the morning it is gatufo´s miauuuu, as he is on the bed at eight o´clock when I get up the cat says “good mornings Emiliano” with a miauuuu
    and afterward he is beside me in godd disposition to be care hopping my hand on his head and some kind of playing with him.
    Every morning it is the same, with good humor waiting for my cares. Never tired of them, always happy with my hand on his head.

    This kind of behaviour it is what make the differences between a cat, or a dog, with an human.
    We get up with good or bad humor and we don´t know why, a good night/a bad night, something we have to do this day or even if we are sick or have a headache.
    A cat or a dog could have headache or could be sick either, despite it they want always to play, they do not complain and have good humor every morning.

    May be that´s the reason I like them so much.

    emiliano

  13. Lassana Says:

    Hi Everybody,

    I haven’t got a cat neither another animal.

    I remember one day, I was reading a topic about a domestic animals.

    As I was reading the topic, there are a sentence saying “When you looking at a dog with his owner, you see that their physical and their face are similar.

    Since sometimes when I’m walk I remember of that and I do this experience. I think it’s so crazy because it’s often true :-)

    I know my story is not about cats but this topic made me remember this day !

    See you soon !

    Lassana

  14. parviz Says:

    Hi every Body,
    It is good to be here again.
    When I was a child I had a dog named Jimmy (no offense if there is anyone Jimmy name out there). I loved it very much. He was very big, but handsome (not fat). We couldn’t talk, but I felt his sensation. I did know that he hated cats.
    I let the dog come with me everywhere. I looked like a bodyguard for me.
    I didn’t let him sleep on my bed. At the time, I shared my bed with one of my brothers.
    And, unlike me, my brother wasn’t into pets very much.
    My dog, never behaved badly, except when it came to find a mate. That was when he didn’t know anyone, including me.
    He was very agile and strong. No other dog could beat him. I was very proud of him. He kept the neighborhood safe.
    I didn’t know what happened to him. I lost the dog when I almost 12. Ever since I have not had another pet.
    Thank you
    Parviz

  15. dan cao Says:

    Lassana,your story is very interesting.

    Your story rminds me of a lot of things. Thank you for your sharing.

  16. emiliano Says:

    He, Lassana

    Along years and years I have not ever have beard and moutache, only once when I was 30 more or less, but now after
    being with Gatufo I have a big moustache like him either a beard too….so, we are now more alike.

    I have read the same story like you about dog pets and owners, and frequently I have it on my mind when I see
    a man with his dog……usually, coincidence or not, they are alike.

    In future, if have a dog, I hope for good of him that we would not be alike……sure the dog will be smarter than me.

    thanks a lot dear Lassana, and yes…..it is true.

    emiliano

  17. Tania Says:

    Hi! In my country it is raining every day, and sometimes it’s raining cats and dogs…with many floods.

  18. Tania Says:

    Hi! And indeed, a pet can offer much, much love to the lonely persons and to the children.
    I have read that a child grows up better together with a cat or a dog in the house.
    You can download your electricity on their fur and calm down.

    The fat cats or dogs are much , much funnier. They emit calm, tenderness, love free from cares… like the fatter people, but not too fat.
    I like very much the movies with dogs in the leading roles.

  19. Tania Says:

    Hi! May I write some lyrics by The Eagles, the rock band?

    “All alone at the end of the evening
    and the bright lights have faded to blue
    I was thinking ’bout a woman who might have loved me,
    I never knew.
    —————————————————————-
    So put me on a highway and show me a sign
    and take it to the limit one more time.”

  20. Tania Says:

    Hi! Dear Jeff, you told us about the meaning of a “fat cats” in an English Cafe and Carl Bernstein used this term in “All the President’s Men” , the book about the Watergate Scandal.
    We do not use this phrase regarding the corruption.
    Thank you for your explanation.

  21. Tania Says:

    Hi! I saw the movie “Patton” on You Tube last week.
    Indeed, the Patton’s monologue is iconic for WWII. I like the historical movies and “Patton” is a very good movie.
    We learn a lot from the historical movies and in this way we do not forget our history.

  22. Tania Says:

    Hi! May I write some George S. Patton Quotes?

    “Success is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom.”

    “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.”

    “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”

  23. Tania Says:

    Hi! And another Patton’s quote.

    “A man must know his destiny… if he does not recognize it, then he is lost.
    By this I mean, once, twice, or at very most , three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder…
    if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what the fork in the road he should take ,
    if he has the guts, he will take it.”

  24. Tania Says:

    Hi!

    “I read in the newspapers, there are robbers
    With flash lights shine in the dark
    My love needs a doggie to protect him
    And scare them away with one bark.

    How much is that doggie in the window?
    I do hope that doggie is for sale
    How much is that doggie in the window?”

    Patti Page