QUESTION:
A listener, Yarek, asked this question: “In one of your podcasts (ESL Podcast 499 – Marrying a Gold Digger) you talk about boy toys. Can you use this term for  girls, too? If not, what do you say?”

ANSWER:
In ESL Podcast 499, we defined “boy toy” as a young, attractive man whom an older, wealthier (with more money) woman dates for fun or for a short period of time, without being very serious about the relationship.  This term, or “girl toy,” are not used for women.  There is no direct equivalent (something that is exactly the same for some other person or situation) for women.

However, people often use the term “gold digger,” also mentioned in ESL Podcast 499, for a person who tries to be in a relationship with or marries another person for money.  This term can be used for a man or a woman.  Another term, “arm candy,” is sometimes used to refer to an attractive person who goes with someone to a public event, mainly so that this person can show off (display for other people to see) and gain status (how other people think of you socially or professionally) by being with a beautiful or handsome person.  Sometimes, the “arm candy” is not romantically involved with that person and sometimes they are.  If you see a famous singer or movie star with a lot of models (people who are paid to wear clothes and other things for display or for photographs) with them, these models may be arm candy.  For example, Jeff never goes to a party without 10 women as arm candy.

If Jeff divorces (legally ends his marriage with) his wife and marries one of these models, he may have wanted a “trophy wife.” A trophy is an object, often made of metal or stone, that is used as a prize for winning a contest or for rewarding success (see picture).  A trophy wife or a trophy husband (possible, but rarely used), then, is a wife or husband who is a symbol, or something to show other people, of your success or status.

All of these terms — “boy toy,” “gold digger,” “arm candy,” and “trophy wife” — are derogatory or insulting.  By using one of these, you are saying that the relationship is not based on caring or love, but instead, based on one’s looks (appearance) or money.

Thanks for the questions, Yarek, and I hope this is useful.

~ Lucy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 at 12:00 am and is filed under Language & Terms. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.